Light Blue
by Caskett93
Summary: Spike, Buffy and Harmony are talking outside from the confraternity's house. A strange demon appears and attacks everyone without distinctions. Harmony run away, but Spike and Buffy stay and fight together the demon. They win, but then a bright blue light engulfed them. Things as they know it will change forever. This What if? starts during the episode "Harsh Light of Day".
1. Prologue

**10/28/15 Edit: Updated a Betaded (It's this a word?) version. The Beta is the wonderful The_Bronze. Any mistakes still there is mine!**

 **Timeline:** It start during The Harsh Light of Day (4x03) and will go on from there.

 **A.n.** I already wrote 118 pages for this story, but still I will post only one time every two weeks, maybe less, because what I have on this fic is in my mother tongue, Italian. I need to translate this story and then complete it. So have patience, please.

And if there is an expert in Spike's bloody accent, please PM me and give me some pointers on how to write it. *smile*

Have fun reading and let me know if you like it!

 **Prologue**

(Somewhere)

The chamber was illuminated only by some candles and a light that was coming from a stone basin. Still, she could see everything. In their observatory, nothing could escape her watchful eyes. It was her new job; watching. If she thought about it it would almost seem ironic.

Some steps interrupted the quiet of the room. She didn't need to turn around, only two other beings had the right to enter the observatory.

"How are you, my darling girl?" a female voice asked her.

"I'm nervous. Can't wait for everything to start." She sighed before giving the older woman a tired smile. "If for no other reason than to stop my nerves."

"You know him, if he doesn't check everything at least three times he isn't satisfied."

"I know, and he is right in doing so. A lot of things depend on the success of our plan. We can't fail. We need to take care of the problem before it blows out of proportion," she answered, seriously.

Both women heard more steps coming from behind them.

"Everything is ready, my dears," he said, once he was beside them. "I took care of everything. Our dear friend will be in position. He won't have problems. Those two will be taken care of, and when the Higher Beings find out, it will be too late."

"I hope it works," the older woman said. "I can't take it anymore. I can't watch and do nothing, knowing what will happen."

"I understand you, my dear. Don't you worry, everything will be fine. I can assure you."

A **.n.2 Do you have some idea about the identity of our three mysterious beings?**

 **A.n.3 this will be a long jurney and until I will end my Roswell fic I will update no more than two times or three at months. I warned you all. Let me know if this prologue have you intrigued.**


	2. Chapter 1

**10/28/15 Edit: Updated a Betaded (It's this a word?) version. The Beta is the wonderful The_Bronze. Any mistakes still there is mine!**

 **1\. Truce**

 **(University of Sunnydale, 10:20 pm)**

Buffy turned towards Parker.

"Stay here," she said sweetly. She liked the boy and wouldn't let that jerk of a vampire ruin her night. She needed to take care of him.

Buffy started to run behind Spike, already excited at the thought of the fight. She would never admit it to anyone, but she liked to fight with him.

 _'I haven't had a good fight in so long,'_ she thought when she reached both him and Harmony.

"What's happening Spike? Dru dump you again?" she asked, trying to make him mad.

"Maybe I dumped her!" Buffy rolled her eyes. Spike couldn't lie to save his life. Not about feelings anyway. His eyes always betrayed him if you know where to search.

"She left him for a Fungus Demon. It's all he talks about." Harmony confirmed her theory with a enraged expression.

"Harm!" he angrily reprimanded her. "We are going," he decided. "It isn't time yet..." he added, looking back at her with a smirk.

"Yeah. But as soon as we've got the Gem of Amara, you're gonna be so..."

Buffy smiled, knowing that whatever the Gem of Amara was, Spike didn't want to let her know about it. ' _Thank you so much Harmony_ ,' she thought with a big smile on her face.

Buffy looked at Spike while he growled and pulled Harmony away. She thought about following him but before she could decide, a big, ugly, green demon came out of nowhere. It had two horns and fangs so big to reveal that of a tiger. It was very scary. The demon attacked Spike.

The vampire pushed away Harmony from the danger, and Buffy was a little stupefied by that. Even if she almost blabbed his plans, just seconds ago, he was protecting her. It was remarkable.

"This must be my lucky evening," she taunted him while he tried to avoid being taken apart by the demon.

"Laugh while you can, Slayer!" He jumped on the side while speaking to avoid being cut in half by the thing's talons. "When this sweet mate of mine..." Spike grabbed the demon's arm and threw him into the wall. "Will be done with me, he'll come after you." The demon was on his feet again, not a scratch on it.

"Well, when that happens, I will take care of him," she said smugly.

Spike was a very good fighter, and she couldn't help but be mesmerized by the fight.

"Come on, Slayer, give a fellow fighter a hand?" he begged when the demon punched him into a tree.

Buffy rolled her eyes but decided to help him.

' _He is mine to kill_ ,' she justified her actions.

"Truce again?"

"As you wish, Slayer." He ran to her, standing by her side. "You go up, I go down?" he asked with a smirk back on his face.

"Whatever, let's just make it quick."

"Oh yeah, you need to go back to that poofter." Spike smiled evilly, and she almost thought about leaving him to deal with the demon alone. She rolled her eyes and could see that he was disappointed that she hadn't reacted to his insult.

She didn't let him think of something worse to say. She started to run toward the demon and after a mere second, she felt Spike moving with her.

Spike used his superior speed to reach the demon. He kicked it hard on its right leg, making it fall on it's knees with a howl of pain.

Buffy didn't give it time to get back up. She punched it with all her might, sending it down on the grass.

"I think we should end this." Spike stepped on the demon's neck, breaking it with a loud crack. "Good work Slayer." Neither of them let their guard down, waiting for the last sparkle of life to disappear from the thing's eyes.

"Thanks, now maybe you should disappear? I have no time to take care of you, and we do have a truce."

Spike opened his mouth to answer her. Before he could utter a sound, the body of the demon started to glow a light blue.

"What the bloody hell is happening?" Spike exclaimed, backing off.

She didn't have time to answer. The light became so bright, she couldn't look at the demon. Without closing her eyes, her world became black.

_.-._ SPIKExBUFFY_.-._

"Slayer," Spike singsonged, trying to wake up the sleeping beauty.

"Please, five more minutes, Giles," Buffy mumbled, trying to get back to sleep.

"Slayer, wake the fuck up! It's not the time for beauty sleep." He was baffled that she could sleep so soundly even with her enemy so near.

The Slayer finally seemed to wake up. She remembered with who she was talking and stood up faster than she thought possible. A stake appeared in her hand. She was ready to fight.

"Woah, Slayer. Calm down." He held his arms up, trying to let her see that he didn't want to harm her. "I wasn't attacking you, only trying to wake you up. And let me tell you, that is not a easy task." He smirked and lowered his arms when she put the stake back in her jacket pocket.

"What happened?" She seemed as confused as he was about what had happened to them. She looked around and maybe for the first time, she saw what had been obvious to him since he woke up. "What the hell! Why are you not a pile of ashes?" she said when her ability to talk came back.

They were in the middle of a clearing. It was probably late morning, the sun was shining on them, and Spike wasn't dead.

"I know just as much as you, Slayer. I woke up here, near you, the sun was shining on me and I wasn't bursting into flames." He closed his eyes, basking in the warmth of the sun. "But this is hardly the strangest thing here," he added, before lighting one of his cigarettes.

"What do you mean?" She looked around, herself, probably searching for something abnormal. He smirked. She wasn't looking in the right direction.

They were in a forest. The trees were normal, he could even name some of them. There were some mountains on their left, he could see snow on the peaks. From the temperature and the color of the leaves, he could tell that it was the start of the autumn. Looking around you could almost believe that they still were home. At least until you looked up at the sky.

"Look up, Slayer," he suggested to her. She rolled her eyes but did as he told her.

"What the hell! The sky... is almost white!"  
Spike chuckled at her colorful exclamation. "Is the the sun light blue? And it seems so far away." She looked back at him, looking a little scared.

"You could be a watcher," he told her, sarcastically. "I still can't understand how someone like you could have sent all my plans to hell. It was probably luck and your watcher's help in the brain department." He shook his head, turning back to his previous topic. "I'm surprised that you can breath. When I woke up, you were there. You seemed dead. I was wrong... sadly," he sighed theatrically.

"I'm not stupid!" she exclaimed, angrily.

"No, you're alright. You're only the typical California girl that puts clothes and shoes before the brain."

"That's not true!"

"Please!" He rolled his eyes. "Not more than two years ago, you had sex with a vampire that could barely control himself while kissing you. You were so lucky that he didn't suck you dry while he was cumming." He said viciously to her. "And tonight, you would have spread your legs for a poofter that wouldn't know how to please a woman. His first thought after fucking you would have been how to get you out of his way. You are naive, Slayer."

"And you're an asshole!" she screamed at him, tears begging to be let out. "At least I don't make myself a laughing stock trying to get back a woman that never loved me!"

"Yeah, maybe Dru can't love me the way I love her, but at least I tried." He was getting angrier and angrier. "I did everything I could think of to make our relationship work! Where is Peaches now?" He smirked knowing that what he was about to say would hurt her. "Last time I checked, he was in LA. What did you do to make him run away?" Spike didn't see it coming when she punched him in the nose with all her might.

"Jackass!" She turned around and left him alone in the clearing.

Spike took a big breath, relieved that the Slayer didn't see how much her punch hurt him.

Minutes went by and he started to feel a little stressed. They were alone in a unknown place with, as their only company, their nemesis. It wasn't an easy situation.

Spike started to go around a little. He was trying to find some kind of track that could lead him to humans and civilization. Unfortunately, he couldn't find anything.

He couldn't smell the smog that now infested the whole planet, thanks to the cars. The only noises he could hear were the tweeting of the birds and the steps of various animals.

When he couldn't take the silence anymore, he doubled back and started to search for the Slayer.

It didn't take much to find her. The scent that she gave off was strong and unique.

"I don't think we're in Sunnydale anymore," she whispered, probably feeling his signature.

She turned and looked at him, strangely, making him a little uncomfortable.

"I don't think we're on the bloody earth, Slayer. Not our earth." He knew what they were doing.

They were ignoring their last spat, so that they didn't have to talk about things that hurt them both again.

"Okay, we need to keep calm." She started to take some big breaths. "This is all your fault, Spike!"

"My fault?" He could feel his rage start to rise again. "If it's anyone's fault, it's yours, bitch!" He was so angry again. She could be so frustrating at times. "You followed me outside! I only wanted to have a bit of fun. Dance, maybe kill a freshman or two, and fuck the unlife out of Harmony, so for a while she would shut up! But you decided to put your big nose in my business!" He threw the last of his cigarette down, stomping angrily on it.

"You think I wanted that?" She crossed her arms in front of her and rolled her eyes. "I was trying to go out with my boyfriend, and everything was fine before you crashed the party!"

"The poofter?" Spike snorted. "Come on, Slayer, I'm sure you can do better than him. You need a man, not a boy that wouldn't know how to handle someone like you," he said without thinking. "I could show you," he added, looking her up and down, licking his upper lip. "Even tall, big and boring, is better than that boy."

"Don't offend Angel!" she snapped when he brought the other vampire in to the conversation again.

"Or else what?" he challenged her. "You stake me?" He smirked at her. "Go on, Slayer. I won't stop you." He got nearer, entering her personal space. He grabbed her right wrist and brought the stake, she had in it, to his heart. "Come on, stake me. Do it and you'll be all alone," he challenged her again. He loved to make her angry. Every time he did it, he could see a spark in her eyes that made her wild and beautiful. He wasn't ashamed to admit that the Slayer was hot. Fighting with her always made him hard.

She freed herself from his grip and stepped back a little.

"What makes you think that we're alone?"

"Look around," he said, spreading his arms, pointing all around. "Listen. I can't hear anything. No heartbeats, not human ones at least. No voices, no steps, no humans smells, no smog. Nothing." He waited for a second to let her understand what he was saying. "We are alone in a forest, miles and miles away from anything. If there is anyone else but us on this fucking planet." He sighed and started to pace. "We don't know how to get back home, and we don't know if anyone is trying to find us. We could be stuck here for a while."  
Buffy trembled at his words. She probably hadn't thought about all this.

"Oh..."

"Yes... oh." He shook his head.  
' _I don't know if she is doing this consciously or not. I mean, I know her, and even if she likes to pretend otherwise, she isn't stupid. But sometimes, she makes me doubt that_.'

"Then, what do you think about extending our truce? At least until we're back in Sunnydale. You don't suck me dry and I don't stake you." She put her stake back in her jacket pocket and stretched her hand toward him.

"I think you have a deal, Slayer." He shook her hand, accepting.

"Now what do we do?" She sat down, taking off her jacket. "How we go back home?"

"All good questions." He sat down too, leaning on the trunk of a tree. "I think that the only thing we can do is find some help. We ain't bloody witches, even if we knew what to do, we couldn't pull it off." He sighed, closing his eyes. "Or else, we could wait for your friends to get us out of this mess."

"I think we should do something. Waiting isn't my thing."

"Not mine either." He smirked at her.

"Then we should find a stream. I'm thirsty, and I remember that it's easier to find people near rivers and streams, isn't it?"

"True." He closed his eyes again, trying to listen all around for the typical sound of water running. "I think I hear something down that way," he said pointing to their right. "Come on."

She stood up with him and followed without saying another word.


	3. Chapter 2

**Here it is the new chapter! Sorry for the wait!**

 **Thanks to my Beta The_Bronze. If there are still some mistakes they are all mine!**

 **2\. Food**

Spike and Buffy were walking in silence when she noticed that he seemed distracted by something. He was looking around, a confused expression on his face.

"Some of these plants are like the ones we have back home. It's strange."

"You know the plants?" she asked baffled.

"Memories from the past," he mumbled, walking in front of her. "Get a move on, Slayer, we're almost there."

She was stupefied by the information she'd learned about Spike, but followed him all the same.

 _'He knows plants... who could have guessed that. In the watchers' diaries, it's written that in his past life he was a working man, a thug. They must have had it wrong._ '

"Who were you?" She was curious now.

"No one," he snapped back at her. She knew that it was useless pushing the issue. "Here we are."

In front of them there was a stream. It wasn't big, but it would be okay for their needs.

Buffy didn't wait for him to say anything else. She got on her knees and drunk the water, sighing when she'd had enough.

"The sun is going down, Slayer," Spike said, looking west to where the sun was disappearing behind the trees. "We have no more than an hour and half before it will be too dark for you to see. If night exists here that is." He shook his head and looked at her again. "Anyway, we should rest, make camp or something. I don't know about you, but I'm famished," he added, patting his belly.

"What will we eat?" she asked him, doubtful.

"You? I don't know, but I have every intention of hunting some specimen of the local fauna." He smirked at her.

"What?" she exclaimed. "And what should I do? I've got only a stake and a blade on me and I've never hunted animals." She knew that she was pouting, but she wasn't able to stop herself from doing it. "I don't know what to do after killing something."

"Then learn." He shrugged.

"I'll starve!"

"I don't care. If you don't know how to take care of yourself, you're only a burden to me. And anyway, if you die, I'll have a treat. Slayer's blood to last me a day or two." He licked his lips, a dreamy and excited look lingering in his eyes.

"But then you are alone in a potentially hostile place." She used his words against him, hoping to get a reaction. "To take blood from animals, you must kill them. Would it be so hard to let me have the meat while you take the blood?"

She could see that he was thinking about it. He knew that she had a point. The slayer only hoped that he wasn't too stubborn about it.

"You may have a point," he admitted in the end. "Take this." He threw her a little battle axe. "I don't need it, I always have my weapons on me." He shifted to game face briefly. "Find a place, build a fire. I'll find you." He threw her his lighter and disappeared.

_.-._ SPIKExBUFFY_.-._

Buffy went deep in to the forest to pick up some dry firewood. At the same time, she was searching for a good spot to sleep for the night. It had to be sheltered from the wind, big enough for the both of them to sleep near the fire and without too many roots that made it hard to sleep. It wasn't easy, but in the end she found a good place.

She cleared a space in the middle of the little clearing and put some stones down around it. She then proceeded to start the fire. It was easy with Spike's lighter.

The fire was big enough to produce a lovely warmth when Spike appeared at the edge of the clearing.

"Come on, I need a hand with your dinner," he said when Buffy noticed him.

She put another log onto the fire and then followed him towards the stream. Near there was a dead animal that reminded her of a big, brown pig.

"It's strange, I thought that we were on a completely different planet, but this to me, seems like a wild hog," the vampire said while examining the animal again. "And while hunting, I think I saw a bear's tracks."

"What does that mean?" She was confused by what he was saying. "The sun is blue, Spike, on earth, it's yellow."

"Even if I didn't see it for a century, I still know what the color of our sun is." He rolled his eyes at her. "What I meant was that maybe we are in a different dimension. We can talk about it later. Now, we need to concentrate on your dinner. If we don't get a move on, it'll all go to waste."

Spike made her stay near him while he butchered the meat. He explained every single passage to her and even asked for her help for some of them.

They had it skinned and eviscerated in no time.

"We could throw it all away," Spike said, pointing at the skin and innards, when their job was done. "But if our stay here becomes longer, I'll need to teach you something more."

She was helping him throw all the things that weren't meat into the stream when he stopped her.

"Wait." He caught her forearm before she could throw the animal's stomach in. "Keep it. We might not always be near a stream. We could use it to make a water bottle. It only needs a good wash."

"Eww!" she was disgusted by his suggestion and almost threw the stomach in anyway.

"Summers, believe me, after we wash it, you want notice. Besides, there aren't a lot of other choices. This or nothing."  
She had to accept it. Without water, she couldn't last more than a couple of days.

"Help me cut this into little strips. We'll use the ribs and other pieces to eat tonight and tomorrow."  
She took out her blade and started to work. When they'd finished the job, Spike went to the stream and took a big, flat stone. He cleaned it as much as he could and put on it some of the little strips of meat. She did the same and it wasn't long before they had twenty rocks with the meat on.

"Take this." He threw her a rock. It was a lot smaller than the others they had used, but it was still flat. "Press the meat, it will help to dry it faster. We only have an hour of sun left. We can finish this tomorrow after dawn.

With their super strength, they only needed a few minutes to complete the task. They left the meat where it was and went back to the camp.

"You did a good job with the fire," Spike praised.

"Thanks." She was surprised by the compliment. "Do you think it's safe to leave the meat so far from here?"

"I can hear that far," he scoffed. "If an animal tries to get near, I'll take care of it." He smirked and went to the nearest tree. He broke two branches and shaped them as forks. He came back to the fire and put one at opposite sides of it.

Buffy watched him, intrigued by his actions. Spike went back to the tree and broke off a green branch and then with a knife, peeled off the bark. He then took three pieces of meat, they'd brought back with them earlier, and stabbed them onto they end. He then put the other two bits on the branches he'd broken before.

"Where did you put the other bits?"

Spike took out, from his precious duster, what at first glace Buffy thought was some kind of roll. He opened it and she saw a big piece of meat.

"I cleaned and smoked the leaves so the meat won't go bad before tomorrow. But without salt or ice, it won't be good for a couple o' days time," he explained, putting the meat roll back in his pocket.

Every five minutes or so, the vampire turned the meat, so it would cook evenly. The smell made Buffy drool a little. She didn't know how hungry she was until the meat started to cook properly.

"Dinner time, Summers," he finally said after an hour. "Come and eat or I'll scoff it myself." He broke the branch into two parts and gave her the one with two pieces of meat.

"What are you doing?" she asked, surprised when he started to eat the meat too.

"What it's look like, Slayer? I'm eating." He seemed confused by her question so she explained.

"Angel said that vampires can't eat."

Spike rolled his eyes. "Angleus is an attention-seeking, know-it-all vampire. Only because he avoids every kind of pleasure, doesn't mean that we can't appreciate the taste of food." And as if to prove his words, he took another big bite from his piece of meat. "I didn't have salt, so it's a little insipid, but I did what I could with some herbs I found." He took another bite and then looked around. "I'm almost sure that this must be a parallel universe to ours. This is the earth. The animals are almost the same, the plants too. The only big differences are the sun, the sky, and the absence of any life, of the human or demon variety."

"It doesn't matter. I'm sure that by now, my friends and Giles know that I've disappeared. They'll get us out." She started to eat. She was famished and the meat tasted delicious, even without salt.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Spike didn't look up. He didn't want the Slayer to see his face. He knew, from tales and researches, that in most dimensions and parallel universes, time went by faster or slower. It was very rare for two dimensions to have the same speed.

He made some counts and decided to wait to tell the Slayer his thoughts. She was eating and she needed a little rest. Telling her of the possibilities would only scare her. He was sure that time didn't go by slower. The kids and the Watcher would have brought back Buffy if it did, and it was too early to say that time went by faster. He decided to give them a few days.

When the sun went down, an hour and half later, they went back to the river. The leftover meat was almost completely dry, but Spike didn't want to take risks so took it back up to the fire to smoke it.

"I think that the days here don't have twenty four hours."  
The Slayer sat down near the fire. Without the sun, the temperature went down fast and with her light clothes she started to suffer the cold.

"That's exactly what I was thinking. I think we have maybe six to ten more hours in a day. If you have a watch, we can find out."

She nodded and without saying anything more, gave him her watch.

Spike watched her while she tried to find a comfortable position to sleep on the hard, cold soil. After a while, he sighed and went to her.

"Come on, Slayer, we need to make you a bed, or you'll freeze your cute butt off." He smirked when she blushed.

"How?"

"We could use leaves starting tomorrow, but for tonight..." he sighed again, stupefied for what he was going to do. "Take this." He took off his duster. For some seconds, Buffy didn't move. She was baffled too. Her mouth was open and her eyes were as wide as they could be.

"What are you waiting for? Take it before I change my mind."

She took it and put it on. "Thank you," she whispered to him. He snorted and sat down against a tree.

Spike looked up at the full moon. It was beautiful. It's color was a few shades lighter than the sun but still blue, not white like the moon in their universe.

"Slayer, do you think..." He looked at her and saw that she was fast asleep. "Well, seems she was more tired than she let on."

Spike woke up hungry. The moon was still high in the sky. He looked at the Slayer's watch. Only three hours had passed since he fell asleep, only five or six since his last meal. He knew that animal blood would benefit him less but he had drunk three times the amount of blood he normally drank everyday. He shouldn't have been feeling hungry again after only six hours. At least not as hungry as he was feeling.

' _Bloody, fucking hell. This isn't normal. I'm so fucking hungry. That blood should've lasted me until at least tomorrow evening._ ' He opened his eyes. The Slayer was still asleep in front of the almost dead fire. The smell of her delicious blood was making him crazy. Her blood called to him like the most delicious meal. He sighed before standing up. He put one more piece of wood onto the fire before going into the woods to find something else to eat.

He came back an hour later, his stomach full of wild hog's blood. He put yet another piece of wood on the fire and then went back to sleep.

_.-._ SPIKExBUFFY_.-._

The smell of cooked meat woke Buffy up. Her stomach grumbled at the smell and she heard Spike laugh softly at the sound.

"It's normal, Slayer. Longer day equals longer night, so obviously you're hungry. Breakfast will be ready in five." He smirked in her direction before going back to the meat.

She stood up, still a little embarrassed, and went to the river to wash her hands and face. Looking into the water, she could see that her hair was a mess. She put her hand in to the pocket of her jacket and thanked God that her hairbrush was still in there, as was her toothbrush and toothpaste. She always packed them for emergency. The Slayer was deciding if she had time to bath when Spike called her.

She went back to camp and found Spike eating a piece of meat. The fire was still alive but she didn't go near it. The sun was up and it was hot enough. She took off Spike's jacket, and sat down, taking a piece of meat.

"What now?" she asked after both of them had finished breakfast. All time they'd been there, Spike was the one that had known what to do and when to do it. It seemed normal to ask him what to do next.

"I have some suggestions." He looked at her. She could almost feel his eyes scanning every inch of her body. "But first, we need to put out the fire. Better to not destroy the whole forest." He ran to the river, with vampire speed, and in seconds was back with the wild hog stomach. He used the water in it to put out the fire.

"I think that the our only choice is to go on walking, following the river," he said, after making yet another trip to the river. "If there are humans here, we're more likely to find them near it." He had closed the stomach water bottle with a piece of his t-shirt. "Take it."

She grabbed it, and without letting him see her, sniffed it. It didn't smell at all of meat or blood. She could only smell a smoke and something herbal.

"I told you that it wouldn't smell." She blushed, embarrassed that her intentions had been discovered. "I washed it with some herbs before putting the water in. Have a little faith, Summers."

"Faith?" she repeated. "In you? Not a chance." She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "But how do you know how to do all these things?" She was curious.

"It's a long story. I'll tell you on the way."

"Okay." She let him walk ahead of her. Spike was the one with super senses.

"Dru wanted to go back to Asia. She wanted to see and taste Indian blood again, but we were still in Iraq. We'd been in China some years before so, I persuaded her to go to Africa to see the Aborigine tribes. We passed time with a little tribe at the edge of the Sahara. They liked to share their knowledge and Dru liked to listen to them. At least for a while." He smirked again and she suddenly knew that the tribe didn't see the light of day again after Drusilla got bored. "They were good times." The slayer was disgusted by his words, but at the same time, couldn't say anything to him. The knowledge given to him saved her life.

They walked together all day except for an hour, when Spike went to hunt. When night fell, they built a fire again, ate a little of the dried meat and then went to sleep.

The day after went as quickly as the previous one and before both of them knew it, the third day was upon them.

As hours went by, Spike started to look more and more thoughtful. His eyebrows furrowed, his mouth shaped in a tight line.

They stopped for lunch and she took out some dried meat. They didn't build a fire then, it would've taken too long.

"This is the third day of only eating meat," she mumbled, not really talking directly to him.

"Something to say, Summers?" Spike asked, venom in his voice.

"Nothing important." She decided that now was time to ask about him. "What I really want to know is what crawled up your ass? You always talk Spike, but in the last two days, you've said no more than ten words to me and now you're as grumpy as anything."

"Now I can't even stay silent? I was thinking, you know, the thing you do with your brain? Ever heard of it?" he said, sarcastically.

"See, I only asked a question and you are jumping at my troth." She saw his eyes flash gold for a second but, when she looked at him better, he was completely normal again.

Spike didn't answer. He got up and started to walk off without her. She sighed and followed him.

After some minutes of silence, the vampire sighed and looked back at her. His face was a little more relaxed.

"I did something yesterday," he said. "Can you give me your flask?"

She passed it to him, deciding that she shouldn't take advantage of his good humor. He used his blade to make a little hole in the upper part, then put a little cord in.

"Where'd you find it?" she asked, understanding what he was doing. Spike knew that she didn't like to keep the flask in her hands all day so, he'd made a shoulder strap.

"I made it with the tendons of your last meal." He smirked at her for the first time in two days.

"Eww..."

"You said the same thing about the flask but now you drink from it. Don't you?"

She took the flask back and put the shoulder strap on without protesting anymore.

They walked for another two or three hours before Spike told her that he needed to hunt.

"I'll bring back some meat. You prepare everything for the night," he said before disappearing into the woods. It didn't take long for the vampire to find a deer. It was a male, a big one. He attacked it and bit it's neck, savagely, almost out of his mind of hunger. The deer was dead in less than a minute, all it's blood sucked drunk in an instant. As the last meal, the sense of fulfillment lasted for some time and then the hunger returned, almost as strong as before.

"Bloody hell!" he screamed, throwing the dead animal down. He couldn't deny it anymore. Something in the blood of the animals was wrong. He couldn't tell what but, it didn't matter, not to him. If he didn't find a solution in the next few days, he would start to get weaker and desiccate like a mummy. He'd already tried anything. Carnivores, herbivores and even fish but nothing had worked. "Bloody fucking hell!" he cursed again, knowing that his next step would be to talk with the Slayer. He already knew that she wouldn't like his idea.

"You're back already?" Buffy smiled at him, spotting the big deer he had slung over his shoulder. "Why did you kill something so big?"

"I needed to experiment," he sighed. "We need to talk about a little problem, Slayer, but first, we'll take care of this little friend of ours. No need to waste it." He sighed again, feeling like he was already ashes in the air.

They couldn't conserve the meat, not without salt or ice, so they had to throw away a lot of it. They kept only what they could eat the next day, plus the pieces that they could use to make more dried meat.

"Well, what's the problem?" the Slayer asked while they were waiting for the meat to cook.

Spike stayed silent for a while. He didn't know how to explain the problem so, in the end, he decided to just say it. "The blood of this world can't sustain me."

"What?"

"It's been three days, Summers. I tried different prey, different sizes of animal but nothing's changed. The blood keeps me full for a little while but after, I feel weaker and hungrier." He had to control his demon face from appearing while talking about blood. "Didn't you notice that I'm always out hunting? What did you think? That I need more then a gallon of blood everyday? If so, vampires would have killed everyone in the world by now."

"I thought that it was normal," she admitted. "I only kill your kind, I don't ask how much blood you need to survive." She rolled her eyes. "And I thought you needed more blood if it was from an animal."

"Look at me, Summers," he whispered to her, trying to catch her attention again. For the first time in days Buffy did just that. He could tell when she realized how thin he'd become recently. His cheekbones were more pronounced, he had circles under his eyes, his cheeks were more hollowed than normal and he was paler. "I'm not lying." He went on when he saw the pity in the Slayer's eyes. "I tried, believe me, but there is something strange about their blood. If I go on like this, in two, maybe three days, I won't be able to hunt, then in less then two weeks I won't be able to get up. I'll become a mummy." She was looking at him, probably trying to see if he was telling the truth or not. He was scared and he let her see it. Becoming a mummy was one of the worst thing that could happen to a vampire. "Vampires can't die from hunger. But what happens to us if we don't eat is worse. We become skin and bones. We can't move, we can't talk, we can't even open our eyes but we are conscious." He started to pace. "I... I can't go on living like that." He took a big, unnecessary breath, knowing that this would be the hard part. "As I see it, there are only two solutions."

"I think you know I won't like them," she said, crossing her arms in front of her. Spike was sure that she knew one of the solutions, at the very least. Maybe even both.

"Killing me is the first one. You do it now, before I become weaker. I want to go down fighting. I want to die knowing that the best Slayer ever killed me." He gave her a tiny smile. "The second choice is to...donate a little bit of your blood everyday. It won't take much to sustain me. Two, maybe three sips should be enough, and your Slayer healing will take care of the wounds within a couple of hours."

"No," she said without even looking him in the eyes.

"Why?" Spike asked, worried. Even if he gave her a choice, he really didn't want to die.

"I can't," she whispered, still looking at her feet.

"Why?" he asked again. He had been almost sure that her fear of being alone in a hostile world would have made her see things from his point of view.

"How can I believe you? How can I trust that you won't suck me dry?"

"Are you off your bird?" He was getting a little bit angry. "I can't believe that you and your merry gang of do-gooders were able to fuck up my every plan." He threw his hands up in the air. "You are my only source of food, Summers. If I kill you, I will become a mummy in a month, maybe less." He looked at her. She seemed on the verge of crying, but he couldn't understand why. He was the one that would die if she didn't help him.

"Angel..." she started in a whisper when he was almost convinced that she wouldn't answer him. "He loved me but, still he couldn't control himself."

"What?" he asked, confused. Spike could see tears in her eyes and her voice had become so weak that if he hadn't been a vampire, he wouldn't have been able to hear her properly.

"Last year, Faith, the bad Slayer, poisoned him. My blood was the only antidote." she started to explain, while she tried to get her emotions under control. "I tried other ways, but in the end I had to give him it. He didn't want to so, I made him bite me. I hit him until he vamped out and attacked me." She seemed to have lost what little control she had over her emotions and started to cry. Spike didn't think for a second that she was weak because of it. "He couldn't stop, even when the effects of the poison had almost stopped. My heart almost stopped before he could."

Spike thought very seriously about her story before answering her.

"I can easily believe that, Summers," he sighed, knowing that what he was going to tell her wouldn't be easy to accept. "Angelus was weak, his demon took control of him when you brought him out, hitting him. And, as I'm sure you've noticed, his demon doesn't think of you as anything more than his next victim. You are his enemy, someone that at the same time could kill him, so when he had the opportunity, he tried to overcome the soul and kill you," he explained. "But you need to understand that I'm not Angelus. I'm hungry, and yes, I would love to suck you dry," he smirked at her, letting her know that he was joking. "But, I know that my survival is linked to yours. I'm not stupid. My demon is under better control. In all my years in this fucking world, I learned how to keep balance, I learned control. Angel as Angelus never did. He never tried to control his demon's basic instinct and the soul didn't help. Years and years of privations had made his control over the demon's basic instinct even weaker. It's not your fault, Summers. HE is the weak one."

It seemed that he had made her speechless. She must have known that he was telling her the truth, he wasn't a good liar. His eyes always ruined things for him.

"This is your choice, Buffy," he whispered to her, using her name for the first time.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"No." It was only a whisper but she was sure he could hear it.

"Good, then take this." He threw her a stake and got into position.

The fight started without preamble but, after the first few punches, Buffy could tell that Spike was no match for her. She could see him getting weaker by the second. He started to sweat even.

' _I can't let him drink from me but if I don't, I'll be alone,_ ' she thought while continuing to fight him. His face was already bruised and his upper lip was split. She'd already had some staking opportunities but she couldn't kill him. The thought of being alone stopped her. ' _Four days have already passed, my friends will find me. They'll bring me back. I can be alone for a few days I suppose._ ' That thought made her decide what she was going to do next. She was going to stake him. But then, a second voice in her head stopped her from pushing it more then half an inch into his chest. ' _What if they don't? What if I'm trapped here for months? Or for an eternity.._.' She let go of the stake and took some steps back from Spike.

"I can't," she said looking at him. Spike took the stake out and threw it down.

"I'll let you drink, but if you try something, I'll stake you so fast that you won't have time to say sorry."

"If it makes you feel safer, you can point a stake at my heart while I drink." He shook his shoulder, the smile on his face never slipping.

"Okay. Wh-when should we do it?" Spike raised an eyebrow and looked at her. Understanding the double meaning, she started to blush and hastily tried to correct herself. "I mean the suckage." She blushed harder, knowing that she had made everything worse. "I mean you drinking my blood!"

Spike chuckled at her. He ducked and took the stake that he had just discarded in his hands.

"We could start now," he said, giving the weapon back to her. She started to play with it while he carried on. "I'm starving. I think that, for a while, I'll need a little more than the two or three sips I told you about."  
Buffy nodded at him, knowing that he was right. Days must've passed since his last meal. "Five sips now, two tomorrow morning and four in the evening. Then I should be okay with a sip every morning and two every evening."  
She nodded again, her senses screaming at her that she was crazy to let him do something like this. Spike approached her. She hugged him with one arm to place the stake at his back, ready to push it in, and then tilted her head to give him better access. Spike pushed her away.

"Not the neck, Slayer." He took a step back. "The arm." He took her left arm and waited for her to place the stake over his heart again. "The neck has a... special meaning." She was confused.

"Vampires always kill like that..."

"If we bite to kill, it's of no importance."  
She nodded, still a little confused.

"And it will be less painful and tempting this way," he added with a little smirk.

She looked at him while he changed to his demon face and slowly lowered his fangs towards her elbow. She thought that he would immediately bite her, but instead he started to suck her skin.

"What are you doing?" she asked, almost taking back her arm.

"I'm bringing the vein to the surface."  
She almost giggled. His voice was strange while he talked with his fangs present. He rolled his eyes at her and started again to suck at her skin. He went on for some seconds and then the she felt the pain. It was nothing more than two pinpricks. He had been careful to not push his fangs in too much. The pain became increased when he moved to make the two holes a little bigger, to let the blood flow into his mouth but, when he started to suck, it all disappeared. After the second sip, she started to feel warmth radiate from her arm to the rest of her body. Her heartbeat grew faster.

After five sips, Spike pulled his fangs out and after licking the little holes three times, he let her arm go. She looked at the wound and saw that it had already stopped bleeding.

"Did I hurt you?" Spike asked after changing back to his human face.

"W-what?" She shook her head, trying to make the warming sensation go away. "N-no, no you didn't." Buffy could already see some change. He was less pale and his cheekbones where less pronounced. "I'm only a little light headed," she covered.

"You should drink and eat something, it'll make you feel better."

She nodded, remembering only then about the meat they'd left on the fire.

"Our dinner!" She didn't wait for him. She sprinted back to the fire and was happy to discover that while the meat was a little overcooked, it wasn't burned.

She was already eating when Spike appeared in front of the fire. He brought her some water that she gulped down in seconds.

"Thank you," he said to her before starting to get ready for the night ahead.


	4. Chapter 3

Here is the next chapter!

 **3\. Sea**

When Buffy woke the morning after, she felt good. Her little donation, the night before, hadn't had consequences just like Spike said.

"Morning." Spike was already awake, as always.

"Hey," Buffy answered. "Do you mind if I..." She pointed to the river.

"No, go on. Your breakfast is still behind, you have time," he assured her with a little smile.

After completing her routine, Buffy returned to the clearing and sat down next to Spike. Without a word, she put her left arm in front of him.

The vampire, with little preamble, repeated the action of the night before and started to feed. Like the day before, he took only two sips before closing the two holes he'd created.

The blood loss was so little that Buffy almost didn't feel the effects of it, so they decided to have breakfast and then resume their journey again.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"How much time do you think my friends will need to get us back home?"

Spike almost jumped when the Slayer started to talk. They had walked in silence since they left.

"Your watcher is smart, he'll find a way," he said, trying to avoid the question as much as he could. As the days had passed, his theory that they were in a dimension, where time went by faster, was possibly right.

"Summers, can I ask you a favor?" He hoped that he could distract her.

"What?" She asked, a little stupefied and a little suspicious.

"Your friends probably don't know that I'm here with you. Whatever spell they use to bring you back might leave me here." He smiled sadly at her. "What I'm asking is, could you convince them to bring me back too?"

The Slayer didn't answer him. She just carried on walking. Just when he thought that she wouldn't say anything, she stopped and spoke.

"Okay, I'll try. You've helped me here. I'll help you get back."

_.-._ SPIKExBUFFY_.-._

The following days lead the two beings to carry on with their exploration of the woods. Spike hunted for her and she supplied him with her blood.

Every time she let him drink, he was surprised. She never complained about it, so he started to be a little nicer to her. He taught her new things about the animals and the woods and he was surprised to discover that she wasn't as 'blonde' as he thought she was.

Their fights decreased in number and intensity while they learned to help each other.

A whole week had passed since the first blood donation. The scenery around them started to change. There were less trees and the sun was brighter. Then, on the sixteenth day since their arrival, the trees disappeared and they were met with only prairie.

"I can smell the sea," Spike said after taking a big breath in the open space. "What we can do?" Buffy asked, a little afraid. Spike could understand her preoccupations. In the sixteen days that had passed, they had found no signs of human life.

"The best thing would be trying to follow another river. Maybe getting a little nearer the mountains." He pointed to the peaks on their left. "I can see snow on the highest point. It means you can find water all year round there. It would be a perfect place to build a city. So, if there is someone here, that could be our best chance." What he didn't tell her was that he couldn't see signs of human life. Even if they were far away, he would still be able to see smoke or fires if civilization existed.

"How long would it take to get there?"

"If we cut through the prairie, we can reach the foot of the mountain in three or four days. But we'll need more water than we have. It'll be better if we get to the sea and walk along the coast until we find another river to follow."

It was the wisest choice. "It'd take a whole week to get there, but we could find useful things down there."

"Like what?" the Slayer asked him.

"I have a way to get salt from sea water. We could use it for the meat." He smiled when he saw the sparkles in her eyes.

"We'll need to sleep during the day and travel at night, but with my eyes we won't have problems."

"I think it's a good plan. I miss salt," she admitted.

"Then we need to make some preparations." He thought about what they needed for a few minutes. "We'll need some bowls to put the water in and some little bags to put the salt in after. We'll need more flasks too, so we can transport sea water even when we find the river. This way we'll have more salt."

"We've already got three flasks and to make more will take a whole day at least," Buffy added.

"True. And we'll need lots of it for the meat. I don't know if we'll find enough wood too near the sea for a fire, though."

"What can we use to conserve the salt?" Buffy asked, knowing that they needed the animal stomach for the flasks.

"We could use the stronger part of the intestine."

"If we start to work now, we'll be ready to head down there tomorrow night."

"Good, let's work."

He clapped his hands together. "I'll hunt down something, maybe a deer or some wild hogs. We'll work on the carcasses together. While you wait, make a camp here and start a fire." With that, he disappeared back into the woods.

_.-._ SPIKExBUFFY_.-._

Buffy only had to wait an hour before Spike arrived back at the camp. He had two large hogs slung over his shoulder and a big smirk on his face.

"I smelt a herd of deer not too far away from here. I'll be back in twenty minutes; you take care of these babies," he said, putting the animals down and disappearing again.

Buffy got up and started to work as Spike had told her.

There was no blood in the animals, thanks to Spike. She cut open the abdomen of the first one and removed all the entrails. She put its stomach and intestines on a leaf, preparing to take them to the river, and on another she put the liver. The slayer worked with attention and cut out all the lean meat. Then, she cut it again into little strips and pressed them with a big rock before putting them on some other leaves to dry.

When Spike came back with the deer, Buffy was working on the second hog. He put down the animal and took the stomachs and intestine, that Buffy had cut out, to take them to the river and work on them.

He finished his half of the work before her, so decided to help her with the meat.

They worked hard for the whole morning. Their decided lunch hour had come and gone before they were ready.

"Maybe we'll need a few hours tomorrow for the deer meat." Spike pointed to the piece of meat they'd worked on last.

They mutually decided to have a very early dinner and went to bed soon after, tired from the hard day.

They ended up used the following two days to prepare everything for their journey to and from the sea.

To make some containers, in which they could put the sea water, Spike took down a big tree with a little axe he had on him. It was fortunate that he'd had it on him back home. The vampire then divided the tree into three pieces, at least ten inches tall. He cut them in half and worked to turn the into six big bowls. Finally, he used a burning log to toughen them so that water wouldn't ruin them.

"And, we are ready," Spike said, on the morning of the eighteenth day, after giving them a last tweak.

They left the woods behind and Spike only needed a few hours to understand that he'd been wrong. The coast was nearer than he thought. Around noon, at least they figured it to be noon, they reached it. They found a group of pines near the beach and Spike decided that they would be a good place to rest. The trees would protect them from the sun rays, that couldn't harm him anymore but could still burn Buffy.

"You make a fire and I'll take care of the salt." He took the wooden bowls and walked towards the sea.

He filled them and put them at a safe distance from the ocean before going back to Buffy. She had already eaten. Without asking him first, she let Spike drink from her before they both went to sleep.

With the sun high in the sky, he knew that the Slayer would have some difficulties getting some kip but, luckily, he didn't, used to sleeping in the day and everything.

The next three days went on like that. They both slept during the day and walked at night.

The salt they got from the bowls wasn't much, but it was just enough to preserve the meat each day. That was all they could really do, prepare and take on each day, one at a time.

During their third day of travel along the coast, they finally found a river mouth. It seemed that it lead up to the mountains. Following it seemed like the best idea now. They filled every flask they had with water, for the first time in days and walked for two more days before entering the forest again.


	5. Chapter 4

**is a bliss**

"How far do you think the mountains are?" Buffy asked while eating some pieces of meat and edible root that Spike had found. She had been skeptical about them but after taking a bite, she hadn't been able to hide how much she was enjoying them.

"A day. Two at the most. They're nearer the coast than I thought." Spike replied. He was watching her eat, unsure if he should say, what he planned to do, next. "Slayer, I think when we reach them, we should think about finding a more...permanent shelter."

"Why? Wouldn't it be better if we carried on walking? We need to find someone that can help us get home."

Spike knew the Slayer was in some sort of denial. She still thought they weren't completely alone or maybe her friends would rescue them, but he knew better. They'd been traveling for weeks and had barely come across animal life. Did she really believe that there were humans out there? He had to open her eyes.

"Summers, weeks have passed since we bloody got here. The long and short of it is, there is no one to find. This place is empty." He sighed, fully aware that their conversation could go escalate badly if he used words carelessly. "We can't do anything, we need to wait for your precious Scoobies to save us. It's autumn now but soon enough it'll be winter. I won't have much problem, cold doesn't bother me but hell, it'll affect you. We need a shelter that will keep you warm enough during it."  
He could tell that her hope was starting to crumble. He almost felt guilty.

"What?" She was confused. She needed more information to give up completely.

"You remember our little talk about the possibility that we could be in a parallel dimension?" He found himself gently taking her hand in his, guessing she would need the support when he'd finished what he had to say. She nodded. "Well, in most dimensions, time passes at a different rate. Twenty-three days have passed, your watcher is an intelligent one, he would already have got us out of here if he could. The only explanation is that..."

"He can't or that time goes a lot faster here." Buffy completed for him.

"That's right."

He didn't expect her to suddenly start crying. He'd never seen her like this, not even after the Angelus mess. He didn't know what to do, what to say to make her stop. He hated when women cried.

"I-I have been in another dimension. T-time went by s-so fast, that a day in our world was one hundred years there." She couldn't seem to be able to stop and Spike started to pity her. She didn't have eternal life like him. Ten or twenty years here would be most of her life.

"Buffy," he whispered to her, using her name for the second time ever since they'd gotten to the dimension. "Don't cry." He was trying to act as sweetly as he could. "I could be wrong, but we need to be prepared. Winter is dangerous for humans and if you die, I'll die, remember?" He took her hand in his again and gave it a little squeeze before letting go. The action seemed to calm her down and he couldn't be happier about it. No more tears.

She used her hands to wipe away the last few tear streaks that were running down her cheeks and smiled a little.

He couldn't stop himself from thinking she looked cute while trying so hard to look strong.

"What do we do now?" she asked, after some moments of silence.

"As I already told you, we'll find a safe place to stay, find a new way to conserve the meat. We should find a way to make some clothes and blankets too. Please tell me your mother taught you how to sew."

"Well, no, but my aunt did."

He could tell that there was a story behind that little affirmation, so he waited to see if she would tell.

"When I was little, I had a cousin, Celia. We dreamed of being heroes. Ironic isn't it?" She smiled sadly at him. "We wanted costumes, so my aunt taught us to sew. After Celia died, killed by Der Kinderstod, I went on sewing to make me feel closer to her. I stopped since I became a slayer, but I think I can make some clothes."

"Good, because those scraps of clothing you have on now won't do you any favors during winter." He looked her up and down from head to toe.

"Hey!" She was blushing and he couldn't stop himself from laughing.

They went on talking about how to prepare for winter and once they were sure that they had considered everything they needed, they went to sleep.

_.-._ SPIKExBUFFY_.-._

Spike and Buffy walked the whole morning, the next day, and during the first few hours of the afternoon, they finally arrived at the mountain's slopes. In front of them were the first peeks. They weren't as high as the others, but the tops were still covered in snow.

"Spike, look at that!" Buffy exclaimed, excitedly.

In front of them was a beautiful little lake, from where the river they were following started. But what had really caught her eye was the waterfall. It was at least ten feet high and it fell from the side of the mountain into the little lake, making so much noise that she was sure that Spike could heard it from miles away.

"Mine!" she exclaimed, making the vampire jump a little.

"What?" He was a little confused.

"Taking a bath? You go and find us a shelter and I'll take a bath." She was sure that her eyes where shining. She hadn't take a real bath in so long. She was a mess. Even Spike was a mess, vampire or not.

"Sure." The vampire rolled his eyes. "Have fun, but remember to build a fire to get dry or you'll freeze tonight if I can't find anything good enough." She nodded at him and pushed him away from the clearing before building a little fire just like he'd taught her.

She waited a while to make sure that he'd gone and then started to take off her clothes until she was only in her underwear.

Without thinking about it for too long she jumped in the water. The temperature was perfect after the long walk. She swam around for a little while and then disappeared under the waterfall. After another half hour of fun, she picked up her clothes from the ground, where she left them, and started to wash them.

When she was satisfied with the result, she climbed out of the lake and placed her clothes on some rocks near the fire. After finding a large boulder, she decided the best way to get dry was to sunbathe a little.

Spike came to fetch her at the first signs of darkness and led her somewhere about a mile from the lake.

"It's perfect," he said to her, pointing to a cave. "It's six feet from the ground so no animal invasions or flooding. The opening isn't too big so it'll help to keep it warm during the winter. The inside is big enough for a family of four." She could tell he was proud of his finding from the smile on his face. "I already gathered some leaves inside for you to sleep on. If I can remember how to make leather and fur, I could make us something a little more comfortable." He led her inside. There wasn't a lot of light but luckily, Buffy could still see, thanks to the little fire glowing at the entrance.

"You're right, it's perfect."

_.-._ SPIKExBUFFY_.-._

He wasn't sure why he was doing this. The day before, he had discarded this cave because it was too little, but when he passed by it again, he'd thought it'd be a perfect place to make a kind of bathroom with a shower.

Why was he wasting time on how to build a shower with wood and leather? All he knew was that he was doing it. In the past weeks, Buffy had been kind about giving him blood, to survive, and he kind of wanted to do something for her. The Slayer seemed so happy after the bath she'd taken the day before and he hoped that his gift would help to keep her happier in the winter months to come.

Spike started to try to make leather, over the next few days, from the wild hogs he'd hunted. The first pieces weren't good and were too hard to use to make clothes, but as the days passed, his attempts improved and after a week, he'd created a usable piece of soft leather.

He used a mixture of the animal's brain and oak tree to soften and tan the leather after removing all the hair from the hind.

Spike started to hunt larger animals to make more leather while Buffy butchered the meat. When he had enough pieces made, he brought them to the Slayer.

At the same time Buffy had tried to find a way to sew the clothes together. She found bones were strong enough to pierce leather and so she crafted a big needle from one. Years of carving stakes from wood helped her master the art.

She'd later tried to find a way to make some kind of thread. At first, she had used some very thin leather, but it wasn't flexible enough. Seeing her problem, Spike suggested she try animal tendons and so, after using the same process that he used for the leather, he gave her thin strings of flexible tendons to try. It worked very well. The thread was a little raw but it held better then leather.

Spike watched her while she sewed, trying to understand how she did it so he could repeat the process to make the shower. He didn't really want to admit it but he liked to watch her sew.

Buffy had been right. While she had been a little rusty at the start, she had been able to get back to her usual standard in no time.

Leaving her to sew, Spike decided to start his little project.

He used the hard pieces of leather to make some kind of bag to use to warm the water. His first try was a fiasco. When he put the leather over the fire, it started to smoke and then burn. As a consequence, he decided to try another way.

He made some bowls, like the ones he used for the salt but bigger, and then put water in two of them. He heated some rocks, putting them in a little fire, then he put them inside the bowls. The water started to boil and he smiled.

He then tried to put the boiling water in the leather bag and hold it. Mixing hot water and cold water together could get Buffy the temperature she liked most.

After creating another two bags of hard leather to transport the water, he started the wooden shower structure. It wasn't anything overly complicated. He lined up two branches for the frame and used a big rock as a step. Next, he hung a bag between the branches. The bag was different from the other two he had made. On the bottom, it had twenty little holes to let the water out.

Knowing that the Slayer wouldn't like to waste water while she fills the beg, he put over them a stop that was made of two pieces of leather sewed together with in between some little rocks to make it sunk down over the holes. He then tied it to a long piece of leather so that when the Slayer was in position she could pull it and the water would start to get out.

He tried the contraption and it worked perfectly. When he pulled the thread, the pieces of leather moved and the water started to flow. The pressure wasn't like the showers they had at home, but it was better then nothing. He then proceeded to make a platform, for the Slayer, so it'd be easier to pour the hot water into the bag.

That evening, he returned to the shelter, a big smile on his face.

"I have a surprise," he announced.

"You're finally gonna tell me what you've been working on for the past week?" She smirked knowing that she had caught him out. He was about to ask how she knew but she interrupted him. "I'm not blind, Spike. I knew you were planning something."

"Oh."

"Well? That surprise?" She was curious. He shook his head and smirked again.

"Right. Follow me." He took her hand without thinking about it and led her to the cave.

When the Slayer finally saw what he'd done for her, tears filled her eyes. Spike was surprised by her strong reaction but proud of himself. He did right by her.

"You can use the two bags there," he started, pointing at the big bags he'd got from the animal skins. "To get the water from the lake, you build a fire and warm those stones then you put them inside the bowl with the water to warm it up" He kept pointing various things out while continuing with his explanation. "You can mix the hot with some cold water until it's the right temperature and then pour it into the bag up there." He pointed again. "Pull the string and you're ready to go."

"Oh my God, Spike. This is awesome!" The Slayer was smiling at him like he had given her the whole world. "Thank you," she added in a whisper that he almost missed. He was about to downplay the whole thing but before he could open his mouth, he found his arms filled by the Slayer. She was hugging him and it felt good. He didn't ask questions or think about what to did next. He simply hugged her back.

"It's a thank you gift," he explained when she let go of him. "For the freely given donations." He wanted badly to believe it, to deny how that hug had made him feel things that he was sure would never feel again.

She didn't answer him but smiled and for Spike, that was enough.


	6. Chapter 5

**5\. Bonds**

"One month and one week today," Buffy reminded Spike like he didn't already know how long they'd been trapped in the alien dimension.

He honestly didn't know what to say to her. He didn't want to worry her by admitting that they would probably be here a while longer, but he didn't want to get her hopes up with the empty promise of being saved soon.

"Your friends will bring us home, luv." He opted for the truth, or at least part of it. What he didn't tell her was that he had no idea when.

"The air is colder now and the leaves are falling. I'm guessing it won't be long before we see snow."

Spike thought about it." I don't know for sure, but I think you're right." He smirked and passed her a piece of boiled meat for breakfast. He could tell that she appreciated the new type of meat she was eating. Nothing but deer could get a little dull after a time.

"What should we do today?" she asked between bites. "I mean, I'm almost finished with the clothes and you're still working on the furs. We have fresh meat for a few days and dried for weeks, thanks to all the animals you hunted."

"I don't know. I was thinking of making something like a curtain to put up in front of the entrance. It will help keep it warm inside."

They got to work on it straight away and by were done by midday. All that was left was to find a way to pin it up to the cave's opening.

"I'm booored," the Slayer whined when the vampire had finished what he was doing.

"And what do you want me to do?" He looked at her in disbelief. "I'm not a bloody clown here for your amusement. Besides, the things I have in mind I'm pretty sure won't interest you." He licked his lower lip while suggestively looking her up and down.

"What?" She looked at him and soon realized his meaning. "Ew. You're a pig, Spike." She didn't mean to start blushing.

"Oink, oink, baby." He smirked, amused by her reaction.

Spike knew, to an extent, that he was handsome and could feel that not even the Slayer was immune to his charm. Regardless of the innocent act she liked to play frequently.

"Want to spar?" he proposed.

"Why not. First let me put on the new clothes. I want to soften them, y'know, wear them in."

"Good thinking, luv. I'll wait for you near the lake."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Buffy changed quickly and went outside to try out the new clothes. They were nothing fancy, just a simple vest and some long pants. She decided not to put on the long sleeved shirt because of the heat.

She tried out some fighting moves and while the clothes put on a little resistance, they didn't fall apart.

Buffy made her way to the lake at a jogging pace to warm up. She missed her nightly patrol. She had never thought that she would miss it until she'd gone this long without it. The idea of a good fight with Spike made her heart beat faster.

When she reached the lake, she was expecting a lot of things. An ambush to get the upper hand, Spike warming up and waiting impatiently for her, but what she saw left her without words.

The vampire was laying on the same rock, where she laid to tan the day before. He was without his Doc Martins and black t-shirt. He had his eyes closed and seemed to be asleep.

Buffy tried to do the right thing, but her body betrayed her. Her eyes wandered over his chest and arms. He was thin, nothing like Angel, but he still had muscles.

She couldn't deny that he had always found him sexy, but seeing him like that make her almost drool. He was perfect.

The sun shined on him, making his pale skin look even paler. She thought briefly if he could tan, but then he moved and she was torn from her thoughts. The slayer quickly closed her mouth, hoping that he hadn't caught her staring.

"Well, Summers, you want to go on drooling over my hot bod, or would you like to dance?" He was standing now and smirking at her.

"What... I wasn't... There was no drool!" She hoped that the earth would open under her feet and swallow her whole.

She checked for drool and luckily found none, trying her best to make sure Spike didn't spot the action.  
Buffy watched him move, his muscles rippling with every step he took. She compared him to a panther on the prowl and for the first time felt like prey, not a hunter. She shook her head to shake away the thoughts and tried to concentrate on the circumstances at hand. She decided to take of her shoes too.

Spike looked at her. "I must admit, those clothes don't suit you, luv, but they'll keep you warm I suppose."

"Hey! I did what I could." She pouted, not liking that he was as distracted by her body as she was by his.

"Bring it on, Summers." Without saying anything else, he attacked.

Buffy couldn't recall the last time she'd had this much fun. The hits they exchanged weren't held back. They were really inflicting damage on the each other while paying careful attention not to break any bones.

"How will we know who's won?" Buffy said after some time.

Spike created some space between them and went to pick up his beloved jacket. He took out a stake and threw it to her.

"If you hit me with that, you win. Not with the point, if you don't mind." He then changed his face to reveal his vampire features. "If I win, I get to sink my teeth into your delectable neck." He smirked at her. "And if I do that, I'll get my dinner early," he added, knowing that putting it this way would make her more inclined to agree.

Buffy smashed the pointed end of the stake against a rock, to blunt it, and then got ready to fight again. Spike was rather stunned that she'd accepted the conditions without a word because when she attacked him, he didn't block her punch.

The fight was hard for both parties. It went on for an hour or so, she couldn't be sure, but what she was sure of was that she was tiring faster then him. She had to put a end to the fight or he would win.

She faked a punch to his gut and when he stopped her, she used her left arm to try to hit him in the face, but he was faster and blocked the second hit too. Spike then used his grip on her wrist to twist her arm behind her back. She tried to get out of his hold, but he used his other arm to stop her from struggling.

"I win," he gloated, before lowering his fangs to her neck.  
Buffy trembled a little. She knew he was going to bite her, but instead of being scared, she was curious. She wanted to know how a bite on the neck would feel when done right, but just before his fangs could pierce her neck, Spike let her go.

"What?" She turned toward him confused. "I thought you wanted to have your dinner early?"

"I can't bite you," he said, stupefied, confusing her even more.

"You what? But you did this morning. And every day since we got here." She rolled her eyes, thinking that he was going insane.

Spike approached her and took a few strands of her hair in his hand, moving them from her neck.

"I knew it," he said after a few seconds, lightly touching the scar that Angel left.

"What? That was Angel. You know, when he was poisoned, I already..."

"No, you don''t understand," he interrupted. "I can bite you everywhere but on the neck."

Buffy still didn't understand.

"I can't bit you here." He touched her neck, making her tremble again. "Not if I do it with the intention of hurting you."  
She still didn't understand what he was implying.

"You don't know? Peaches didn't tell you?"

"Told me what?"

"He marked you," he whispered, disgust all over his face.

"Marked me? I'm not a cow!" She looked offended.

"But it's what he did." Now he looked sorry for her. He sat down on the grass and gestured for her to do the same. "It's hard to explain."

"Then start from the beginning." She made herself comfortable, guessing that whatever he had to tell her wouldn't be easy.

"Then, we'll start with talking about vampires' bites. Do you know why vampires bite people other than for blood?"

She paused. "Well..."

"As I thought." He smiled at her. "It's not a problem, slayer. Anyway, vampires bite for five different reasons. Blood, as you know oh so well. To kill, and remember that there is a difference between those. I can bite you to get my dinner, I don't have to kill you to do that. Vampire usually kill because they don't care and things are easier when there is no living proof of their existence wandering around with big bites on their necks. But I'm digressing, we bite even to punish someone, making the bite hurt like a bitch. To give pleasure." He smirked at that and looked at her, making her blush a little. "And last but not least, to make bonds or claims."

"Wait a minute. The Master bit me and didn't kill me but the bite hurt so badly that I fainted and drowned in a puddle," she admitted, a little ashamed. She still hated to admit that she drowned in a frigging puddle of water. "Angel's bite, when he was out of his mind, didn't hurt that badly." She blushed, knowing that she got off on that bite.

"Bites carried out to punish someone sometimes have that effect, even more if it's the first time. Don't be ashamed of fainting. I did too the first time Angelus gave me one. Almost everyone does." He smiled sadly at her. "That even explains why you still have scars from it. That kind of bite is meant to make you feel ashamed and rejected. Anyone will know what the scars mean and who gave them to you. Things get better with time and if the bastard dies."

"So they will go away eventually?" she asked, hopeful. She hated them.

"Sure, give the Master one a year and it'll be gone." He shrugged. "Scars that come from pleasure bites and for blood disappear when they are healed. Those from punishments and bonds don't. But I'm rambling again. You're distracting me, Slayer." He gave her a fake glare and then continued. "The bites I really wanted to talk about are those that are done to make bonds. There are different kinds of bonds, of submission, of possession, of family, and of union. The last kind are very rare between vamps because of the risks taken in going through with the ritual. They are only done between loving and loyal couples as a meaning to become one. They give the couple nifty advantages but, as I said, very dangerous."

"So, they're like marriage without a priest?" she asked, suddenly very interested.

"Kind of. They are less formal and more magical. They bind beings' mind and body together for eternity. There is no divorce. Only death can get you out of one. You live knowing every feeling, every thought of your mate. No real secrets, no real privacy."

"Did you ever..."

"No," he interrupted before she could finish her question. "Dru never wanted one with me, pet." He smiled sadly at her. "If you force the union on someone or the feeling between the couple isn't real or strong enough, the union will let you see every bad thought your mate has, every bad feeling they have of you. That kind of thing makes people go cuckoo in a very short amount of time. Death shortly follows an unloving union."

"That's awful, she whispered, thinking about sharing your whole being with someone that resents you or isn't as committed to you as you are to them.

"There are pros if the union is done right between two beings who are really in love. Knowing that you are loved without a doubt, feeling it every minute of your life, never being alone. This is a dream for most, Summers."

Buffy could tell that was a dream of his and she could understand it. He had told her that he was love's bitch, but she had never believed it until that moment.

"But that's not all. Being united with a real mate makes you reach the peak of your power as a vampire in very little time. You can pass from a childe to master in a year instead of decades." Spike got out his now treasured pack of remaining cigarettes and took one out. She knew that this was the second time he had smoked since they arrived.

"Could this... bond be made with humans?"

"Sure. Even humans have magic in them. The demon inside a vampire can connect with a soul. Mind you, it's a crappy deal for the demon, but someones it's been done anyway."

Buffy didn't understand that and Spike must have spotted her confusion. "The bond lets you see inside your mate's mind. What she or he feels, you feel. If she feels guilty, you start to feel guilty too, and a vampire sure has lot to feel guilty about. If the vamp can get past the feeling and adjust to things, everything's good, but if he can't, he'll go crazy. No need to explain what happens after." He breathed out some smoke, taking the form of a little circle as it blew away. "Bonds make human lives longer and healthier if they work, but if they don't, then they die soon after their crazed mate."

"I didn't know that." She was starting to see that maybe what Giles and a lot of other people had told her was wrong. If this kind of bond was possible between them then demons must have had feelings.

"Watchers only will tell you whatever they need to get you out into the night to kill the monsters without hesitation. To them, the world must be in black and white. Shades of gray are dangerous. There are species of demons that are harmless and even useful in the world, but knowing this could make you hesitate at the wrong time and a slayer that hesitates is a dead one." His gaze was dull.

She guessed he was recalling something from his past.

"So, Angel did this with me?" she said, thinking that she got what he meant.

"What? Christ, no! I couldn't bite you at all if he did that and he sure as hell wouldn't be in fucking L.A." Spike again had that disgusted expression on his face and seeing it hurt Buffy a bit. Was he disgusted by her?

"This is a possession bite, luv. This is a mark for every supernatural being out there to tell them that you belong to someone and that you will be revenged if someone is stupid enough to kill you."

"Why he didn't tell me? This could have helped me, knowing that no vampire would bite me." She was feeling a little giddy. Angel was protecting her, even when he was away.

"It doesn't work that way."

Just like that, the giddiness disappeared. "The bite gives you no real protection. To get that, he should have mated with you. This kind of bond, it's only a way to make it impossible for other vampires to mate with you without challenging Angelus to a duel to the death or without waiting for the bond to weaken enough. To start a union, the bite must be on the neck and it needs to be pleasurable, like the ones I give you when I feed. That's why I can't bite you on the neck."

"In other words, I have a big 'Angel's property, back off' tattoo on my neck?" She was getting angry.

"That's right."

"How the hell did he do it? I never accepted anything when he bit me."

"Possession bites don't require permission or acceptance. If you feel love for the one that is biting you and he makes a claim on you, the possession bond is done."

"And do I feel some kind of effects from it?" She didn't really need for him to answer. His face did that for him.

"Yes." He sighed. "Being under a possession bond enchants the feeling you have for your other half and if for some reason you get left behind, it's hard to move on. Until the bond fades away, you will feel attached to Angel. You will feel as if you are betraying him if you fall in love with someone, and that brings most of the bitten to depression. No healthy relationship can be forged from this kind of feeling. Only really strong feelings and a lot of physical distance can help someone to move one while still under the effect of the bond." She knew he hated what Angel had done to her.  
"He...he did this to me?" She could feel tears starting to run down her cheeks. "H-he said t-that our story couldn't work, t-that it was a freak show! He said that he was doing it f-for me, to let me have a normal life, but it was a lie. He did this and made it impossible for me to really move on. Why?" She was furious. How could he have done this to her? He even stayed geographically near to her, making it ever harder.

"Angel and Angelus aren't so different. It could be that he did this by mistake when he bit you, but he surely knew after and kept silent about it. He was ashamed probably, but he's a greedy bastard. He couldn't bear to be near you without being with you, but at the same time, he couldn't bear to see you move on so he let the bond be."

"How can I take it off?" she asked after some seconds of silence.

"You can't. The only ways are through him or with time. It will get weaker and then eventually disappear, but it will take a few years."

Buffy pulled her knees toward her chest and hugged them, trying to feel a little bit of protection from the huge betrayal she had just discovered.

"I loved him. I would have give up anything for him," she whispered, feeling broken inside. "And how did he repay me? Going away without telling me the tiny bit about him making it impossible for me to really move on from him!" She was so distracted that when she felt Spike's arms around her she jumped, a little surprised.

"Shh, luv. Everything will be okay. Being here will make things easier. You'll fall in love again with someone that deserves your love. You'll marry him and have the lucky bastard's kid."

Strangely, Buffy started to feel better, less broken. "The sprog'll have that bumpy nose of yours and your blonde hair."

"I'm not blonde."

"You don't say." He rolled his eyes, amused by her answer. "I can see your roots from miles, Slayer."

"How we will survive without our bleach?" she joked, letting a little smile spread across her face.

They decided to lay down for a while. They both had things to work through.

"The other kind of bonds?" she asked him after almost an hour of comfortable silence. "You never got to explain them. I'm curious and we have nothing else to do."

"Well, the submission one is easy enough. It's a stronger kind of possession bond. The difference is that there are no feelings at all in it. You only do it to own another being. It's a forced kind of bond, usually done while fighting. Instead of killing the victim, he asks them to become his or her's and the loser can choose to live as a slave or to die free. After the bond is in place, you have a slave. They'll do anything you command until you free them from it or they attempt to free themselves by challenging you."

She saw him tremble a little.

"You ever..."

"Never. Angelus beat me into submission when I was still a new childe, after I tried to take him away from Dru. He hardly used our bond and it faded when he left us, but the things he used to make me do... I promised myself that I wouldn't put anyone through it without good reason."

She could see the pain and sadness in his eyes and it scared her a little to know that the man she had loved was capable of breaking the powerful vampire in front of her.

"The familiar one?" she asked, wanting to change the subject.

"It's a lot like that of a Sire and his Childe. The only difference is that the one who initiates the bond won't have the blind obedience that new Childes usually give to their Sires. It would be like being in a real family. The older beings have some kind of power over the others, but no one is obliged to follow direct orders. It's more about respect and trust."

Buffy could understand that. She usually tried to obey her mother, but because she loved her, not because she was scared of her or had to.

"This kind of bond has more power than that of a possession or submission. Members of a family can feel each other, they can tell if other members need help or have died. Sometimes, when it's very powerful, like if two vampires are real brothers, they can even communicate telepathically. And even better, if you do it with humans, you gave them some of the advantages of a union. Longer and healthier life." He smiled sadly. Again, he seemed lost in a memory.

"If only..." she heard him whisper.

"Who would have known that vampires could have healthier and longer relationship than humans." She shook her head. It was a little mind blowing. "I mean, twenty-five percent of marriages end with a divorce, but when vampires get united, it's forever."

"Yep."

They went back to thoughtful silence until the sun started to disappear behind the horizon.

"We should get back. Have a shower, it will help make you feel better." He smiled sweetly at her and then started to walk towards their home with her.

Buffy did as he suggested and discovered that it really did help her. The shower worked beautifully and after, she laid down near the fire on a bit of leather that Spike must have put down to make her more comfortable while she was drying off.

When the time came to get dressed, she remembered that she had no clean clothes. She was going to go to the lake and wash the ones she had, but when she exited the cave, she found her normal clothes on a rock near the entrance.

She smiled at the sweet gesture and then blushed at the thought of Spike quite possibly having seen her naked.


	7. Chapter 6

Here the new chapter! Hope you'll like it!

 **6\. Tales**

Spike and Buffy decided to explore the area around the cave over the next few days seeming as as they had nothing else to do.

They climbed the mountain until they reached the lowest peak where, luckily, there was very little snow. On their way back, Spike decided they should take another route as he'd spotted something from a vantage point.

"These, slayer, are delicious," he said to her, pointing towards the chestnuts on the trees around them. "They're almost ready to fall." Both of them memorized the path from the cave to their current position so that they could come back at a later to date to collect the nuts.

The following morning, they woke up to the sound of the rain. It was the first time that it had rained since they'd arrived here. Buffy was happy to see that with the cover up at the cave entrance, the water wasn't getting in.

"Looks like we're stuck here," the vampire yawned. "What should we do to keep ourselves entertained?" He gave her a sexy smirk but Buffy decided to ignore him.

"We could...I don't know... talk, maybe?" She was sure it wasn't Spike's first idea of entertainment.

"We could play twenty questions?" She knew it was a little lame but she didn't have any other ideas. "Only one jolly?"

Buffy saw that he wanted to say no, but in the end he nodded at her.

"I'll start. Age over beauty."

"Are you telling me in a contorted way that I'm beautiful?" she quipped.

"What?" he exclaimed, looking embarrassed. "No! I just wanted to start first."

"Okay," Buffy said with a big fake smile, hoping that the vampire wouldn't notice that his words had hurt her a little. "Let's start."

"Let me think...Oh, I have it. Most embarrassing moment of your life."

"Easy." She rolled her eyes at the overused question. "My first kiss." She blushed slightly at the memory. Until very recently, that had been the worst day ever. "I had braces and he had them too. I think you can guess how it ended. I had to call my mom so she could take me to the dentist. We were so ashamed, I don't remember ever looking him in the face again."

Spike started laughing extremely hard which didn't surprise Buffy.

"Bloody hell, Summers, that must've been hilarious." He continued laughing.

"Yeah? See how you like it then. Same question back at you." She smirked evilly and waited for him to answer.

"When I was human," he started, after almost a whole minute of silence. "My mum caught me in one of the first and last private moments." He trembled a little at the memory but Buffy didn't understand what he meant.

"I was alone in my room."

Still nothing from her.

"I was having a good old wank, slayer."

"Eww. I'm so sorry for your mother," she said before starting to laugh equally as hard as he had.

"Her? I was the one caught with my hands in my pants. She gave me a speech on how it was a big sin and that I shouldn't indulge in it ever again. It was awful. I couldn't look her in the eye for days."

Buffy continued to laugh and the vampire sighed. She was sure that if the vampire could blush, he would have been as red as a tomato by now.

"Poor Spikey," she mocked.

"Shall we continue?" He desperately wanted to change the subject and didn't wait for her consent to carry on with the game. "My turn."

Buffy was afraid that he would make the next question even more embarrassing, but he surprised her.

"Best day of your life."

"It was my fourteenth birthday." She didn't need to think about it. "My parents took me to see my first ice skating show." The memory made her smile. "It was the perfect day. I fell in love with ice skating and Dorothy Hamill." She could remember the whole show so clearly. Ice skating was one of the things she missed most from her pre-slayer days.

"I saw the woman once or twice," he admitted, referring to Dorothy Hamill, "And she was fucking poetry in motion. I can see the appeal." Spike surprised her more by the second. He liked ice skating? Or at the very least, seemed to appreciate Dorothy Hamill.

"But if you want to see true perfection, you should see the Russia. I took Dru to a show while we were there and I'm not ashamed to admit that I loved their dancing."

Buffy could see the passion with which he spoke about ice skating and was sure that the vampire had attempted skating at least once.

"Best mom memory," she asked, wanting to stay positive while not hearing about his idea of perfect day with his hoe of an ex-girlfriend. Surely it would comprehend lots of blood and sex.

"I have too many of them." He was smiling so sweetly that he reminded her more of a shy boy than the master vampire he was. "She was a true lady. Sweet, kind, compassionate, full of love, strong and brave. After my Da died, she took the family business into her own hands and made it prosper."

Buffy could see in his eyes, in his whole face that he still had so much love for this woman. If Buffy hadn't of started to think that demons couldn't feel emotions, that would've been the moment she'd started to think it. No being could fake so much love and sorrow.

"The best memory must be that time she surprised me when I was away from home at Oxford. She brought me to see my favorite play. I could tell she was trying to build some happy memories."

"She must've been extraordinary. What happened to her?" Buffy suddenly saw the hurt and regret in his eyes so she wasn't surprised when he changed the subject.

"My turn, slayer, don't cheat." He was trying to sell her a smile so fake that even Xander could've seen it. "Biggest regret."

"Telling my parents about being a slayer," she admitted with a sigh. That wasn't a happy memory at all.

"Why? I was there. Your mum didn't take it too badly.".

"You weren't there afterwards. She threw me out, but we both forgave each other after. But it wasn't that time I regret," she explained, trying to not cry or show fear, conjured by the memories of the horrible place she spent two whole weeks at. "I'd already told both my mom and my dad that I was a slayer, but they didn't believe me. My first watcher, Merrick, had just died, I was weak from the wounds Lotus had inflicted upon me and I was so lost, so alone. They expelled me from school because I burned down the gym to kill a dozen vampires that were trapped inside and I just couldn't deal with my parents always fighting because of their rebel daughter. So, I told them. It didn't go well. They sent me to an asylum when I tried to show them the truth. I had no real proof and they wouldn't let me go. So after some days, I told them that it was the stress, that vampires and demons weren't real, and they let me go, but my 'recovery' caused my mom to concentrate on me and my dad resented that so decided to find his pleasure elsewhere. Now I know that those were only excuses he gave us, but at the time, I believed him and it hurt me a lot."

"I'm sorry, pet." Spike approached Buffy and took her hand in his. "No little girl should be left behind by her father."

Buffy didn't want to answer him so decided to ask her next question.

"Ever loved someone else other than Drusilla?"

"Yes, her name was Cecily. Snobby chit from my home country. She broke my heart." The vampire shrugged it all off as if it was nothing, but Buffy could tell that at the time, it must have destroyed him. "You? Ever loved anyone other than Captain Forehead?"

"Yep, a boy from my old school. I fell in love with him after I found out I was the slayer. When I came to Sunnydale, we had already broken up because he decided he was more interested in the adrenaline rush then me."

"Please tell me it wasn't that whelp that wanted to use you as a means to live forever."

"No, I had a crush on him but we were never together. His name was Pike." She smiled fondly at the memory. After moving on from Angel, she had started to think back to Pike with fondness, hoping that her first girl love would be safe somewhere.

"Pike... are you bullshitting me?" He rose one eyebrow and smirked.

"I swear! It was a nickname but I always called him Pike. So while I know his surname, I don't know his real name." She started to laugh. "Pike, Spike, you men and your doggie names."

"That was mean, slayer!" he said with fake outrage, making her laugh. "Do you think you'll stop mocking my name anytime soon?" he asked. She couldn't seem to be able to stop laughing.

"Okay, let's continue." She took a deep breath to calm herself down and then presented her next question. "Why did Dru break up with you?"

Spike closed his eyes, almost as if he was in pain.

"I use the jolly," he said, opening his eyes. They were so cold and distant that Buffy was almost scared of him.  
"I'm not in the mood to play anymore. Rain's stopped, I need a fag." He stood up and disappeared from her line of sight before she could say anything else.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Since the slayer had asked him that damn question, the evening Dru dumped him kept repeating itself in his mind. Spike was blocking the painful memory but he knew the only way to make it stop was to live through it again.

 _Drusilla and Spike were arguing. He found her with a Chaos demon. They had dripping antlers, for God's sake._

" _Why can't you kill her?" she asked him. He turned towards her, angry._

" _You're the one who keeps bringing her up!" They were in South America. He'd gotten her out of Sunnydale after his truce with the Slayer and since the world wasn't in hell, she must have won. Not that he doubted it. "I haven't said a word about the bloody Slayer since we left California. She's on the other side of the planet, Dru!"_

" _But you're lying!" Drusilla was getting angry and he didn't have the strength to fight with her. Not that night.  
"I can still see her floating all around you, laughing. Why? Why won't you push her away?"  
He couldn't understand what she was talking about. He wasn't thinking of her. Not a lot anyway. He was just a little bit sad that he hadn't been able to be there to have his one good day with the slayer._

" _But I did, pet. I did it for you." He tried to tell her but she couldn't seem to be able to understand, or maybe she didn't want to. "You keep punishing me. Carrying on with creatures like this."  
The Chaos demon was standing nearby, holding a beer, and trying to find a way out of the embarrassing situation._

" _Okay, you guys obviously have a thing going on here." he said softly to them, causing him to sigh. Even the dripping demon was pitying him._

" _I have to find my pleasures, Spike. You taste like ashes." She didn't seem heartbroken like he was, but he could feel that she was sad._

" _So, this is my fault now?" He knew that there wasn't any going back after this._

" _I didn't know she was seeing somebody." The demon tried to explain, making Spike even angrier because he knew that he was telling the truth. Dru didn't say anything._

" _I should take off."_

" _Yeah, why don't you do that?"_

 _The demon blew a kiss to Drusilla and then walked off._

" _You can't blame the ghoul, Spike. You're all covered with her. I look at you...and all I see is the Slayer."_

"Spike..." The whisper of the girl in question brought him back, breaking his train of thought.

"What?"

Buffy looked genuinely bad. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snoop into your love-life."

He looked at her. She seemed really sorry about having caused him pain with her innocent question. Spike sighed. He knew that he couldn't stay angry with her. It wasn't her fault that Dru believed more in her visions than him. His wicked plum was crazy and sometimes things got mixed up in her mind.

"Don't worry, slayer. It's only that it still hurts. I thought that after more than a hundred years of loyalty, she'd forgive me for siding with you instead over one little thing. Unluckily for me, she didn't share my way of thinking," he admitted, letting go of some of the repressed anger that he had against his ex-lover. "I would have done anything for her, I would have died for her, but she was asking me to let her die to go along with Angelus crazy plan! I would've given her the world but without her daddy in it, she wouldn't have cared." He took the third cigarette from his jacket pocket.

Buffy remained silent. She probably didn't know what to say.

"You know what I'm thinking?"  
Spike looked up at her and shook his head, confused.

"I'm thinking that comparing my love story with Angel to that of you and Dru, I find my love story lacking."

Spike wasn't sure if she was joking or being sincere.

"I mean, you look at Dru like she is the start and the end of everything. You still care for her even when she broke your heart. Last year, Angel was guilt tripped by the First Evil into killing himself and he wouldn't be alive without the 'Power That Be's' intervention. He didn't listen to me, he still wanted to die. He was strong enough to die for me, but not to live for me. But you, Spike? You are. You didn't do anything wrong, she did."

Spike quickly changed the subject. "I think it'll start to rain again shortly, we should go back."

What the Slayer said had really touched him but he wasn't ready to admit that she was right, that his Princess never really loved him. Just like he was sure that even after that whole speech, Buffy wasn't ready to admit that Angel didn't love her in the right way.

"What should we do? Twenty questions has become boring, she whined when they were back inside, sitting on the furs.

Spike started to go through his pockets. He was almost sure that he had put a deck of cards in one of them.

"Here they are!" He smiled at the Slayer.

"You had those on you and didn't say anything before?" She crossed her arms in front of her. Spike was sure that she was thinking of hurting him very badly.

"I forgot about them?" He tried to use his puppy dog face and it seemed to work because Buffy rolled her eyes and smiled a little.

"Want to play?"

"Sure, what game?"

"Poker?"

"I don't know how to play," she admitted, blushing a little.

"Black Jack?"

She shook her head.

"Shithead?"

"What?" She looked offended.

"It's the name of a game, slayer." He chuckled a little. He had suggested it on propose, guessing he'd get that kind of a reaction from her. "Bloody hell, woman, what kind of game do you know?"

"Gin Rummy?" she answered with a cute smile.

"Okay, but we should teach you some real games after, slayer." He shook his head. "It's embarrassing that you can't play poker.

"Shut up and deal, mister." An evil smirk crept on to her face.


End file.
